The Neverending Story of Lufia TLR: The Uncancelled Edition.

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The Neverending Story of Lufia TLR: The Uncancelled Edition.

Postby JDWitchdoctor » Mon Jul 23, 2007 5:59 am

The Legend Returns...uncancelled!!!
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*Four all-powerful beings known as the Sinistrals were defeated by a hero named Maxim and his three companions two hundred years ago, and then again by his descendant one hundred years ago. And now, a mysterious woman with cerulean hair approaches a town in a ship. Finally, she lands, and takes a long, hard look at the village of Patos. *

Seena: Hey, you call this a town? This is a landfill you idiot! Take me back!

Ship's Captain: Can I touch you?

Seena:...Never mind.

*Seena enters into the village.*

Seena: You'd think a place like this would at least have a phone boothe...God...

*Suddenly, a Red headed teenager runs into her.*
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Wain: Hey...I haven't seen you here before. You...you're a stranger! :o

Seena: Very astute, pinhead.

Wain: AH! A STRANGER! I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT! :o

Seena: Hey loser, what's your name?

Wain: I'm Wain. Wain the main character. I am a main character.

Seena: Well, that's good. Are you a good fighter?

Wain: The best in town!

Seena: Uh huh. And do you have a job?

Wain: Well, no. Everyone says I'm too talented as a fighter to waste my time working. They also tell me to stay away from their children.

Seena: Yeah...so you're sure there're no better fighters around than you?

Wain: What's that supposed to mean?

Seena: It means you're stupid. So long, stupid.

*Seena walks away, unconvinced that Wain is the best fighter the village has to offer. *

Wain: Huh...oh well. I suppose it's time to go vent my teenage frustrations on random animals outside like I always do.

*Wain goes outside the village, randomly attacking Red Jellies with his sword.*
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Wain: LALA! WHEE!!! TEENAGE FRUSTRATIONS! Wait...what's THAT?!!!

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Wain: Must be a tower of some sort. That, or the biggest telephone pole I've ever seen.

*Above, at the Tower of Death.*

Gades: Ah...I, Gades, the Sinistral of Destruction am finally awake. Time to start destroying the world. WITH FRUE DESTRUCTION! It's what I do. ATTENTION WORLD: I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!!

*A big bolt of lightning hits a house in Patos.*

Wain: Wha?!

*Wain sees the house.*

Wain: Hm...common sense tells me the next plot advancement just happened, so something must be wrong here. I just can't pin down what. Hm...that house looks different somehow...

Before:
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After:
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Wain: Yep, something is definitely different, but I can't quite seem to figure it out. Maybe that weird girl with the unnaturally blue hair can tell me. She seemed like a main character.

*Wain returns to Patos.*

*Wain sees the girl with the blue hair.*

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Wain: So what's your name?

Seena: My name is Seena.

Wain: Okay. What's with the house?

Seena: It's on fire. That's what's with it. Stupid...

Wain: Hey...

Woman: LAMIKA IS STILL IN THE HOUSE!!!

Wain: Lamika? Isn't she the little deaf girl who likes playing with matches?

Seena: Well, you're a swordsman. Go save her.

Wain: Oh right...like being a swordsman means I can run into a burning house. What do I look like, a fire fighter?

Seena: Oh yeah, I forgot. I snuck into your house, stole your diary, then put it in Lamika's house. If you don't hurry, it'll burn.

Wain: OH NO!!!

*Wain dives into the burning building.*

Seena:...He actually bought it. He's got to be just about the stupidest person I've ever met. That means I can easily manipulate him, and since there are no other fighters of any use here and since I obviously have nothing better to do, I might as well blackmail him into joining my cause.

*Wain jumps out.*

Wain: MY DIARY WASN'T IN THERE AT ALL! YOU TRICKED ME!!!

Seena: IDIOT! GO SAVE THE GIRL!!!

Wain: Oh yeah...I'm the hero. Heros do that. THUNDERCATS! HO!!!

*Wain leaps back in and saves Lamika.*

Lamika: Thank you, Wain. You saved me.

Wain: No problem. It's incredibly fortunate that I recieved no burns, even though I was romping through a burning building.

Seena:...For all intents and purposes, you should have burned to death.

Wain: Blame the writers.

Seena:...

Ship Captain: Can I touch you?

Seena: What are you doing here?

Ship Captain:...I like you.

Seena: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STALKER!!!

*Seena casts magic on the Captain, hurling him far away with a Bolt Spell.,*

Wain: HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS MAGIC! I SO TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!

Seena: Brilliant deduction! You do see that I'm making a crystal ball float, right?

Wain: Duh...

Seena: Wain, can you come over here for a minute?

Wain: Sure. Even though you're clearly a manipulative witch, I see no reason not to completely trust you.

*Seena shows Wain a contract.*

Seena: Are you interested in an adventure?!'

Wain: BOY AM I!!! This town just doesn't appreciate my special talents. Also, they won't stop mailing me scathing chain letters.

Seena: Well then, just sign here and we can begin a grand adventure. And don't worry, this is absolutely not a trick and there are no negative consequences to doing this. Honest.

Wain: Are you sure this is a contract to go on an adventure? It looks a lot like the deed to my house.
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Seena: Well it isn't. Sign it.

*Wain signs the document.*

Wain: OKAY! NOW LET'S GO OFF ON OUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!

Seena: Let's rest a night. Why don't you go to the inn?

Wain: But I can just sleep at my house! I don't see any reason to...

Seena: Real adventurers sleep in inns.

Wain: Okay!

*Wain goes off to the inn.*

Seena: Now to find a locksmith... :wink:
Last edited by JDWitchdoctor on Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:35 pm

*The next morning...*

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Wain: YAWN!!!

Seena: Oh hey, you're finally awake!

Wain: Hey...this is my house. Wasn't I staying at the inn?

Seena: No.

Wain. Huh...bad continuity? How...surprising.

Seena: Anyway, let's go!

Wain: Aren't we going to eat breakfast?

Seena: Of course. We'll have some nice and tasty Dual Crunchies, the only Lufia brand cereal. It's real good, even IF the FDA hasn't approved it for humans yet.

Wain: YAY FOR SHAMELESS ADVERTISING! :D

*After breakfast.*

Wain: I feel funny...and I think my spleen just exploded.

Seena: Oh shut up. No hard feelings about me calling you an idiot right?

Wain: Say what?

Seena: You understand! Then, from now on we're "pals."
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Wain: What's a pal?

Seena:...Just follow me. <_<

*Wain and Seena leave Patos village.*

Seena: It's nice to be out of that ghetto-town. You could get AIDs by just LOOKING at the toilets in that stinkhole.

Wain: It was a boring place. I hope the next place we go has free Wi-Fi.

Seena: We're going to the tower of death. I'm pretty sure they don't, but they do have those mini micro-fridges in every room.

Wain: YAY! Wait...is that that big tower thing north of here.

Seena:...At what age did you drop out of school? <_<

Wain: What's school?

Seena: Never mind. We have to go through Patos cave first.

*Wain and Seena come to Patos Cave. The path is blocked by an old man.*

Ibla: Why, hello Wain. Long time no see.

Seena: Hey! We're trying to go through here!

Wain: Calm down, Seena. This is Ibla, my teacher! He taught me everything I know.

Seena: Oh boy...

Ibla: Wain, you should remaster your fighting skills. ATTACK ME!
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Wain: Are you sure?

Ibla: Wain, I'm the stereotypical old man who serves as a tutorial. If you don't prove to me you can fight, I' going to run you through this entire cave while lecturing you for 30 minutes about things you could easily read in the instruction manual in 2.

Seena: Just do it, Wain.

Wain: Okay...even though it's absolutely against better judgement, I'll readily attack an obviously defenseless old man just to skip the tutorials.

*Wain slashes at the old man, slicing him apart.*

Wain: You okay?

Ibla: Just give me a minute...*pulls out a cell phone* Hello? Vince Haverty Law Firm?

Wain: Who are you talking to?

Ibla: Um...no one. Anyway, you guys can go through.

Seena: Well, that was incredibly pointless. Let's move on. <_<

*Wain and Seena leave Patos Cave towards the Tower of Death.*

*Wain and Seena enter into the Tower of Death.*

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Seena: Gees...who's the interior decorator for this place? This red tile is gross...

Wain: Red makes my eyes hurt.

Seena: Hey Wain, fetch!

Wain: WOOF!

*Seena throws a bone towards a flight of stairs. Wain leaps after it.*

Seena: All too easy...this is all going exactly according to plan. Soon, he will be my slave. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Wain and Seena travel up the tower until they come to a throne room. Inside, they see a man in armor.*

Seena: Who are you supposed to be?

Gades: I am Gades, Sinistral of Destruction.
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Wain: Hey...you must be the guy who burned down Lamika's house!

Gades: How do you figure that? Maybe it was an electrical thing, or maybe the dumb girl was just playing with matches.

Wain: She did do that a lot...

Gades: I hate how people are always tring to blame others for their own clumsiness. You sicken me!

Wain: It's you fault for living in a tower and dressing like Darth Vader.

Seena: You're a Sinistral, right. I thought you guys were defeated twice already?! Aren't you supposed to be dead or something?

Gades: You'd like that, wouldn't you? Well too bad. I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!

Seena: Enter the silly catch phrase.

Wain:...BOOOOOORING! LET'S FIGHT!

!!! Battle !!!
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Wain: Hey...I just realized that this guy is WAY stronger than we are.

Seena: Then why did you pick a fight with him?

Wain: I wasn't paying attention to what was happening. I was too busy thinking cliched hero thoughts. Apparently, that caused me to be momentarily distracted.

Seena: HELP! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY THE LAMEST VILLAIN IN THE UNIVERSE! THINK OF ALL THE CHUMPS I'LL NEVER SWINDLE!!!

Gades: SPIRITUAL FORCE OF DESTRUCTION!!!

*Gades destroys the room.*

Gades: Wow...when I used to do that, the room would still be there. I second times have changed since then. I never thought for a second firing energy waves straight up in a closed building could have any negative consequences.
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Wain: Moron! You just destroyed your own room!

Gades: I believe we've already explored that aspect of the scene. I'm going to destroy you!!!

Wain: OH NO! I DROPPED THE SOAP! HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!

Gades: Wait...no I wasn't.

Wain: THEN WHY WERE YOU SNEAKING UP BEHIND ME?!!!

Gades: Uh...I wasn't...HEY!

Seena: So, are you going to let us escape already or what?

Gades: Ugh...I'm going to destroy you!

Seena: Okay...you do that.

*Seena and Wain escape.*

Wain: Wow. His powers were surprisingly ineffectual.

Seena: I know. Too bad it's now our sole purpose in life to defeat him.

Wain: Really?

Seena: Yeah. If we let him stay, the Sinistrals will return.

Wain: Is that bad?

Seena: Here's a picture from when they last returned. They let them stick around for a few weeks before taking action. Look what they turned the world into then:

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Wain: THOSE JERKS!
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:37 pm

*Wain and Seena go outside, and enter into a new cave, Laphon Cave.*

Wain: Here we are: Laphon Cave.

Seena: Would you stop reading every sign we come by? It's getting annoying.

Wain: Hey, look at that. The guard is letting us through.

Guard: Zzz...

Wain: He looks sad...what's wrong with him?

Seena: He's asleep dumbass. Quick, let's snoop through his stuff.

Wain: I have a better plan. Let's go through the deep part of the cave. Then, we can find some treasure, and maybe a new sword.

Seena: Are you ****ing kidding me? Those monsters would plow through us like a steam train running over a twinkie.

Wain: I like twinkies.

Seena: Let's just go already before he wakes up.

Wain: Okay!

*Seena and Wain leave the cave.*

Wain: Hey Seena, guess what?

Seena: You got another bee in your pants?

Wain: No. I just remembered. There's a town near here that sells weapons that are better than the more plot important city south of that town.

Seena: Wain, I told you before: we don't need to buy weapons. We can just find them in treasure chests. Or we can steal them. Stealing makes everything better.

Wain: Really?

Seena: Yes, stupid. It does.

*Wain and Seena travel to Albano, the southern city where they see a big mansion.*

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Wain: This is a nice city. Much better than the other one.

Seena: Fool, it looks just like the other one. Does every city on tihis continent recycle the same layout?

Wain: Pretty much. Hey look, a sign! Let me read it.

Seena: I swear if you do I'll kick you in the....

*Suddenly, the Ship Captain comes up to Seena.*

Ship Captain: Can I touch you?

Sheena: ARGH!!! DIE ALREADY!!!

*Seena hits the Ship Captain with a bolt of lightning. He goes flying off.*

Ship Captain: FUNGAH! FOILED AGAIN!!!

Seena: Ah...look at that. A mansion.

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Wain: That's one shiny.

Seena: I think you forgot a noun, Wain. Bad Wain.

Wain: Wah... :(

Seena: Let's go check it out. Maybe they have chumps to swindle...I mean swords. Swords is what I meant. You like swords, don't you Wain?

Wain: YAY! I want a new sword. My old one is crap.

Seena: Then let's go. (More chumps to swindle. This is really my day.)

*Seena and Wain go to the mansion. Suddenly, a man runs out of it.*

Fugo: HELP! THAT MAN STOLE MY MONEY! MY PRECIOUS MONEY!

Seena: Damn...someone beat me to it. That's it. Wain, smash him.

Wain: Huh?

*The thief jumps over Wain.*

Theif: HAHA! Too slow, stupid!

*The thief runs away.*

Wain: Grr...jerk.

Fugo: Please...you have to get him. My money is the only thing that means anything to me now that my wife is dead. She was pretty much all the family I had.

Daughter: Dad...I want to play with you.

Fugo: YOU DON'T GET A BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! So, will you get it? I'd be happy to give half to you as a reward.

Wain: Cha-ching!

Seena: We'd be honored. (Chump)

Fugo: Oh thank you. THANK YOU!

Wain: Grr...that thief made me look like a complete idiot. And it made him look like effing Mario...

Seena: Let's go, Wain. It's time to hunt down the thief.

Wain: Do you think we can buy a new sword first?

Seena: No.

Wain: Wah... :(
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby PsiCop » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:25 am

:) This is pretty cool man. I like your sense of humor.
Dekar rules!

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Sun Aug 05, 2007 4:41 am

Note: I'm glad you enjoy it. I try my best to make it entertaining.

*Wain and Seena make their way to Slani Cave which is just to the west of Albano.*

Wain: Caves are dark.

Seena: Thank you, captain obvious. Now for our next trick, getting through the cave.

Wain: Can I have another bone?

Seena: Go for it.

*So, Seena leads Wain through the cave, tossing the bone near every staircase so he can take all the surprise attacks from the monsters while she stays safe behind him. They eventually reach the bottom.*

Seena: THERE HE IS!

Wain: Who is he? He doesn't even look like a major character. Are you an NPC?

Dei: No! I am Dei, the noble thief! I steal from the rich and give to my numbered Swiss Account. I'm a very important character!

Seena: Sure you are...

Dei: BAH! Go ahead and try and stop me!!!

*Dei escapes.*

Seena: Hey, did something just happen?

Wain: I think the thief escaped...

Seena: Wow...it's so hard to actually notice him. He's not even a main character. Now we have to travel all the way through the cave again. Then we can catch him and turn him in for the money.

Wain: HURRAY FOR MONEY!!!

*Seena and Wain travel through the cave once again.*

Wain: I hate the randomly placed rooms in this game.

Seena: I know. The creaters must have been on some strong stuff when they did it. It totally destroys any fun in trekking through those things.

Wain: I saw Star Trek once. It was okay, but the bald guy talked too much.

Seena: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!!!

Wain: I'm sorry. I just have an exceptionally short attention span.

Seena: Well stop bugging me already. I need an advil.

Wain: Stop taking so many of those Seena. It makes me sad.

Seena: Aw...do I make little Wain sad? Well too bad. I like making you sad. It's my sole joy in life, other than calling you stupid.

Wain: I noticed. Wah... :(

Seena: Quit your balling and come with me. We're going to get a new sword.

Wain: Really? :)

Seena: No. I just thought you'd enjoy that for a moment.

Wain: Aw...(Seena's hot when she's yelling at me.) :wub:

Seena: Now let's go.
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Sun Aug 05, 2007 4:43 am

*Wain and Seena return to Albano.*

Wain: Hey Seena...

Seena: What?

Wain: Does Albano look any different to you?

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Seena: Come to think of it, maybe. The air quality is really bad, almost LA bad. Maybe there was a Bon Jovi concert while we were gone.

Wain: Shucks...wait...this isn't Albano.

Seena: Yes it is. It says so in the asterisk action. That can't possibly be wrong.

Wain: This is Majiri, the town north of Albano. You know, the one north of Albano?

Seena: Shut up and find the thief.

Wain: What makes you think he came here?

Seena: Uh...maybe all the grafiti saying "'Dei the thief was here?"

Wain: Oh...sorry. It's hard to notice without a user submitted post.

*Suddenly, a giant monster appears.*

Wain: AH! A GIANT MONSTER! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES! I mean seriously...where the hell did this thing come from? What are we: dungeons and dragons?

Seena: God...I've had enough of this crap.

*The monster lunges towards a child.*

Seena: Quick, we can use this as a distraction to escape!

*Suddenly, Dei appears.*

Dei: NO! NPC BOY! I CANNOT LET YOU DIE!

Seena: Don't worry. That would have been censored. The boy can't die. This parody is rated G.

Dei: Seriously?

Wain: Yeah.

Dei: Well, then I guess my job is done. BACK TO SHERWOOD FOREST!

Seena: OH NO YOU DON'T!

*Suddenly, Fugo appears.*

Fugo: Thank you for finding the thief.

Seena: Holy ****! Where the hell did you come from?

Fugo:...Uh...I was stalking you. Anyway, let's go, thief.

*Fugo arrests the thief, then takes him back to Albano.*

Wain: Well, that was random.

Seena: Let's go after him, Wain.

Wain: Why?

Seena: THAT CHEAP TOSSPOT FORGOT TO PAY US! HE'S GONNA PAY!

Wain: So you're not even slightly confused by the fact that he was stalking us?

Seena: You're so stupid, Wain.

Wain: I don't like it when you get mad.

Seena: I don't like it when you get stupid.

Wain: Touche.

*Wain and Seena head towards Albano.*
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Sun Aug 05, 2007 4:45 am

Wain: Albano is a boring town.

Seena: You're boring. Let's get over to the mansion and kick Fugo's cheap ass.

*Wain and Seena go over to Fugo's mansion.*

Generic Guard: Okay...sir? SIR? I'm going to have to see some identification.

Seena: Screw you. I have blue hair.

*Wain and Seena bust into the mansion.*

Wain: So where do you think he went?

Seena: Well, considering that he's rich, he probably has a secret dungeon at the bottom of a large staircase conveniently located behind a bookshelf.

Wain: You think?

Seena: Of course. Apparently, rich megalomaniacs are into that sort of thing.

Wain: HURRAY FOR POORLY EXPLORED CLICHES!!!

*Wain and Seena find the secret staircase, and travel down until they come to a room filled with gold. They see a monster eating it.*

Seena: WHAT THE ****?!!!!

*Fugo emerges from the shadows.*

Fugo: I see you have come...

Seena: Quit acting like you knew we were coming.

Fugo: I did know you were coming. I know everything. Because I'm rich.

Seena: Is that seriously a gold eating monster? Are you totally insane? What's the point of having something as incredibly stupid as that?

Fugo: No. Poor people just can't appreciate a pet that only eats gold.

Seena: No, we can't comprehend how a creature like this can even exist! I swear, this is the DUMBEST subplot of all time.

Wain: What does it poop out?

Fugo: Silver.

Seena: INSANE!

Fugo: Now, I'm going to sick my pet on you. Belumie, GO!

*Wain and Seena defeat the monster without even trying.*

Fugo: Crap...that didn't work. How can my gold eating monster have lost? TIME TO RUN AWAY!

*Fugo flees.*

Wain: Silly villain. Bad guys always get what's coming to them...SEENA! STOP STEALING THE GOLD!

Seena: Shut up and help me.

*They can hear cries coming from the back.*

Dei: HEY! OPEN UP! THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE FOOT SWEAT!!!

*Wain lets Dei out.*

Dei: Thanks for helping me. I'm sure my services will come in handy.

Wain: I doubt it. You're not even a main character.

*Suddenly, they hear an explosion coming from outside.*

Wain: Uh oh...

Seena: He must've done the logical thing and called the cops. RUN!

*Dei, Wain, and Seena run outside. They see Gades, who just destroyed the mansion next to Fugo's.*

Gades: Hehehehe...that was fun.

Fugo: NO!!!

Seena: Great...thanks for destroying this jerk's other mansion for us, man. You've just moved up a notch from silly villain to convenient plot device.

Wain: Wow...maybe Gades is really a nice person once you get to know him, since he seems to have helped us stop Fugo.

Gades: Prepare to be very surprised.
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby Guard Daos » Fri Aug 31, 2007 3:17 pm

Some time ago since you made it, I know, but who cares... It's great! I hope you continue it. What's next, Seena whipping Wain around? XD

Only thing is, when you said Lufia 3: Uncancelled edition, I thought you meant Ruin Chaser. Lufia TLR is not Lufia 3. :P (I know, some of us are a little too strict about that...)
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Whoa.

Postby uruoruie » Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:46 pm

:shock: Whoa.

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Postby SinReVi » Wed Sep 05, 2007 7:09 pm

1. Fugo's wife is alive in the game...

2.
Wain: This is Majiri, the town north of Albano. You know, the one north of Albano?

Majari!

3.
Lufia TLR is not Lufia 3
*agrees with GD*

4. Continue!
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Lufia - Curse of the Sinistrals
~ OUT NOW! 2010

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:57 pm

Cut me some slack, guys.

It's been years since I actually played this game.

And the Uncancelled thing will work into a joke later on. And Lufia 3 is the 3rd Lufia game, which is why I choose that as the topic originally. I guess I can change that.

Also, I know about Fugo's wife. I thought it would be better if she was dead.

Don't expect perfect continuity with the game. This parody won't have that.
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:04 am

Seena: Wain, what does the scouter say about his power level?

Wain: It's over 9000.

Seena: 9000?!!!

Gades: You nerds sicken me.

Seena: Wain's not a nerd. Nerds are smart.

Wain: Hey...

Gades: I am going to destroy you. Every waking moment of your existance will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery as I slowly destroy each and every molecule in the worthless piles of crap you call bodies. You will be destroyed! DESTROY! DESTROY!

Dei: This bloke is a freaking robot.

Wain: Wait...you're British?

Dei: Very. Didn't you notice?

Seena: Who's British?

Dei: Me. Dei. The thief! Remember?

Seena: Sorry. Not ringing a bell.

Gades: I'm going to...

Seena: What? Destroy us?

Gades: That's not what I was going to say...I'm going to destroy you.

Seena: See? You're a typical one note villain. All you can do is destroy things and ramble on in pathetic monologues. GO HOME!

Gades: Gah...I have been defeated...I will come again for you when the time is right.

*Gades disappears.*

Fugo: Thank you for saving me and my money. It's the only thing that fills the void in my otherwise pointless existence.

Daughter: Papa! I was so scared!

Fugo: JUST FOR THAT, YOU DON'T GET TO EAT TODAY!

Daughter:...

Seena: Whatever. Just give us the money. All of it.

Dei: I already stole all of his money and transferred it to my Numbered Swiss Account. Ta ta, blokes!

Wain: All while being locked up in that dungeon? Am I the only one who is confused by this?

Seena: Grr...(Damn jerk...beating me to a swindle. At least I have consolation in that he's only a minor character.*

Wain: Let's go already. My feet hurt.

Seena: I don't care about your feet. We're going to find more chumps...I mean more allies to help us fight against Gades. Fighting him is now our only reason to exist.

Wain: I agree.

Dei: Screw fighting. I have money.

Seena: Come with us, thief, or I'll post this picture online for the whole world to see:
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Dei: (Oh no...I can't let everyone know I actually wear glasses and enjoy playing frisbee in shorts.) Fine...I'll go.

Seena: Excellent.

Wain: Seena, are all your friends people you've blackmailed into being around you?

Seena: Yes. Yes they are....stupid.

Wain: Stop calling me that!

Seena: Stop redefining what it means to be a moron.

Wain: Okay...
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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JDWitchdoctor
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Postby JDWitchdoctor » Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:05 am

Seena: On to the next trashpit town.

*The group heads west to the nest town.*

*Wain, Dei, and Seena come to Broffo Cave.*

Wain: Wow...it's a good thing every one of these caves have a roadsign telling us the name of it. Otherwise we'd be completely lost.

Seena: Sure is dark in here.

Dei: Hey...uh...if either of you get molested in here, it totally wasn't me. True for honest, blokes!

Wain: OUT OF LINE! This parody is rated G!

Dei: Screw the rating. I have money now.

Wain:... :(

Seena: Let's...take the short way out.

Dei: Aw...

*Dei, Wain, and Seena come out and head to the next town, Siantao.*
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Dei: Whoa...did we just enter Tokyo?

Seena: That, or this part is going to be censored in China.

*They see a girl being mugged...they think...*

Gang Member: Hey...what are you doing?

Girl: HELP! POLICE! I'M BEING HARASSED!!!

Gang Member 2: Look...we're just asking for directions...

Girl: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ACCENT!

Seena: HEY! STOP THAT!

Gang Member: Wait...fine, we might as well. The world seems to want us to mug this girl. Give us the money, or we'll...you know.

Girl: EEK!!! NO WAY!!!

Gang Member 2: Listen here, little missy? Do you have any idea who we are? We're from the Garland Gang. We're...

*A muscular woman leaps out in front of Lufia.*

Aima: A group of two bit cowards who prey only on the weak!

Gang Member 2: I was going to say an inner city tennis team...

Aima: Don't you dorks remember the beating I gave you last week?

Gang Member: YES!!! I SWEAR WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT MISS AIMA!

Aima: Then get out of here you evil men. Evil, evil men. All men are evil. Men. Evil.

Gang Member 2: THANK YOU FOR LETTING US ESCAPE!!!

*The gang members flee.*

Dei: Good show, Aima.

Aima: Who are you?

Seena: He's not important. Say, I like the way you threatened those men. In Siantao, are all women more powerful than the men?

Aima: Yes. Always.

Girl: HURRAY FOR SEXISM!

Wain: I'm scared...

Aima: Now that I've beaten up some men, time for my workout at the YMCA.

Girl: My hero!

Dei: Sorry if I'm off my rocker, but this is a right messed up burg, gents.

Wain: Yeah. Let's leave.
"Glory is Fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever."

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Guard Daos
High God of the Lufians
Posts: 3235
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 12:06 pm
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Postby Guard Daos » Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:26 am

Ah well. We all hope you'll continue to continue it, but if you can't, we won't hold a grudge against you. ;)
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