The very idiot story of Estpolis TLCBTG

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The very idiot story of Estpolis TLCBTG

Postby SinReVi » Mon May 17, 2010 7:47 pm

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The very idiot story of Estpolis - The Lands Cursed by the Gods





Warning: This story is based on Lufia DS, so there will be spoilers here =P (as in different than what happened in Lufia II)








*somewhere on the sea*
Maxim: *just started to read the Lufia II Strategy Guide* Hey, Lexis! Why is Excerion here? (According to this guide, it shouldn’t exist yet…)
Lexis: If it wasn’t here, we would have to swim to Soma Shrine!
Maxim: Oh yeah… Hey wait a minute! Why are YOU in the beginning of the game?
Lexis: Don’t you remember what happened a while ago?

*flashback*
Square-Enix: We want money! Make a new Lufia game!
Neverland: Okay!
*6 days later*
Neverland: Tadah! This is the best story ever!
Foomy: *eats the script*
Neverland: AAARGH! Fine, we’ll just use the script of Lufia III Ruin Chasers!
The other Capsule Monsters: YUM! *eat Lufia III script*
Neverland: Nooooooooooooo! Hmm… What if we just create a remake of Lufia II?
Square-Enix: What a wonderful idea!

*the next day*
*Lufia II cast barges into Neverland’s building*
Lufia II cast: ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO CREATE A LUFIA II REMAKE?!
Neverland: Yeah, that’s right! Aren’t you happy?!
Lufia II cast: Yeah, but… we want to change a few things!
Neverland: Whaaaaaaat?!

*a zillion complaints later*
Neverland: Let’s see… This should be right...

Neverland's notes for Lufia DS :
#1 - Tia wanted to get Maxim's attention (we didn't know what to do so we just gave her a make over, she looks nothing like she did before)

#2 - Guy wanted to be stronger than Dekar (we changed Guy into a bodybuilder)

#3 - Guy also wanted to be cooler than Dekar (we gave Dekar permanent pink hairdye and told him it was free shampoo. If Dekar has pink hair, we hope Guy will think he’s cooler than Dekar)

#4 - Artea didn’t want to be the only blue haired elf in the world (we gave him a blonde wig)

#5 - Gades was angry because he wasn’t able to sink Parcelyte in Lufia II and said he would show us frue destruction if we don’t change the script (we hope he’s happy that we’ll let him destroy Parcelyte instead of making it sink to the bottom of the sea)

#5B - ^ Actually Gades wasn’t happy so he destroyed Narvick. (We moved Lisa, Marie and Clare to Eserikto and turned them into elves. Because of that, Artea wasn’t the only blue haired elf anymore. He was so happy that he wanted to throw his blonde wig away, but that idiot Dekar glued it to Artea's head with Lexis' "Supershaia Deluxeluxefluxg Glue" when he asked him to help put on the wig)

#6- Wain wanted to be smarter this time (he thought this was going to be a remake of Lufia TLR, but we told him to get out of here and don’t come back until we're going to remake Lufia TLR or create a sequel featuring the Lufia TLR cast going to Estoland)

#7 -Artea complained that his bow was ugly (we were out of bows so we gave him a gun that shoots arrows)

#8 - According to Idura, Camu died in a car accident so we told Idura that he could have his role (we don’t think Camu is really dead, but we don’t want to be killed by Idura Thunder)

*insert more comments here*

#348756876 - We removed the Capsule Monsters from the game (because they ate our scripts! Grrr!)

#348756877 - Lexis said he’d send a exploding invention if we don’t give him more screentime (we gave him more screentime, but changed him into a grandpa heheheh)

*end flashback*

Maxim: Oh yeah, now I remember! They made a few storyline changes! In that case, I won't need this anymore! *feeds his Lufia II strategy guide to the dolphins*

*Lexis and Maxim arrive at Soma Shrine*
Lexis: Maxim, you still have to explain why we went to Soma Shrine!
Maxim: Oh yeah… Well... I’m Maxim and I’m a monster hunter! And this morning, I got a letter… and it said:

“You. Maxim. You!
Please get rid of the monsters here, I’ll wait for you in Soma Shrine. I have a nice reward for you.
~ man who wrote this letter”


Lexis: We’re in the Soma Shrine now, but I don’t see the guy who hired you.
Maxim: Hmm… I’ll look somewhere else.
???: *lies on the ground* H…H..Help…. Monsters attacked me… Will you defeat… the monsters here? … And give me a potion!
Maxim: Aha! You must be the man who hired me!
???: Huh? I didn’t know I hired someone!
Maxim: So you’re not the person I’m looking for. Bye!
???: Hey! Come back! I’m dying here!

*meanwhile*
Man who hired Maxim: I finally have my very own shrine! My shrine will be better than the shrines of my brothers and sister! Hahahah! But first I have to get rid of all the monsters and other mess! Where is that idiot I hired?!

*later*
Maxim: *enters the area*
Man: Finally! I’ve been waiting forever!
Maxim: Are you the man who hired me?
Man: Yes I am!!! Please defeat the monsters on the path that leads to me! *kicks Maxim and Lexis back to the entrance*

Maxim: That wasn’t very nice of him!
Lexis: Doesn’t he know that you shouldn’t kick red haired guys and old grandpas?!
Maxim: I wonder where the monsters are… I don’t see any monsters!
???: Heeeeeeeeeeelp!
Maxim: You again? Fine, I’ll give you this Potion!
???: Thank you! *is healed* I’m Ruben, from the Parcelyte Army! Please visit our city when you have time! And blablahblah! And the commander of our army is reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllly ….blahblah…. and blahblah!
Maxim: Yeah, whatever!
*Maxim and Lexis leave Ruben behind*

Lexis: Hey, Maxim! I found the monsters! They were hiding!
Maxim: Hurray! Let’s kill them!

Narrator: And so Maxim’s battle started. There were many monsters, Maxim couldn’t even count all of them! They were all scary and very very verrry….. uh… red and slimy…
Maxim: What?! That man hired me to defeat a bunch of red jellies?! (Uh... Does this mean Ruben was defeated by some red jellies?!)
Man: Yeah! I’m not going to waste my time on jellies! I have other things to do! I'm evil, you know?!
Maxim: Oh well, he said there was a reward so I’ll still defeat the jellies!

Maxim: Hello red jellies! I am Maxi-OUCH! *is attacked by a jelly* Hey, I’m supposed to attack first! Lexis! Explain the rules of fighting!
Lexis: Ahem! In this battle, Maxim is the fastest character so he gets to attack first! And then you, the red jelly, attack! And then Maxim attacks again, and then it’s your turn again! And the fight goes on until one of the parties dies, or flees the battle! Do you understand?
Red Jelly: No. *attacks Maxim again*
Maxim: This is MY turn!
Red Jelly: I don’t care! *attacks Maxim again*
Maxim: Waaaaaaaah! That mean jelly doesn’t listen to the rules!
Red Jelly: Lalala! *attacks Maxim AGAIN*
Maxim: That’s it! Screw turnbased battles! *defeats the jelly* Who’s next?!
The other jellies: AAAAAAAH! *jump into the volcano*

Man: Bravo! All the jellies are gone!
Maxim: What’s the reward?
Man: A battle… with ME! *turns into a huge being*
Maxim: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I want a better reward! *throws sword at the man who just turned into a giant being*
Man: OOOoooooooooooooouch! My hand! My stomach! *turns into the man again* Here, I’ll let you have this! This is the legendary Golden Amon Armor!
Maxim: Wooooooooooooow! Thanks!

(*meanwhile at Doom Island*
Amon: Noooooooo! I can’t find my golden armor! Now I have to wear a black one!)


Man: By the way, since you hurt me, I’ll hurt YOU!
*the man was actually Gades*
Gades: I’m Gades, Sinistral of Destruction! THIS is what I would call frue destru…-
Woman: Stooooop! *saves Maxim from Gades’ attack*
Gades: Erim! I mean Iris! No wait…. I mean: You. Random woman I never met before. You! What are you doing here?
Iris: Gades! Get out of here!
Gades: But this is my shrine!
Iris: Hurry up or I’ll tell Daos that you ate his cookies!
Gades: Okay, okay. *teleports back to Doom Island*

Maxim: Thank you for saving us!
Lexis: *under a stone* Us? US? She only saved you! OUUCH!
Iris: Sorry, old man! I didn't see you! *saves Lexis* My name is Iris, I'm a priestess of Runa.
Lexis: I'm Lexis Shaia! I'm a geniuuuus! Don't forget that!
Maxim: And my name is Maxim.
Lexis: What are you doing in a place like this anyway? Isn't it way too dangerous for women here?!
Iris: Do you know of the Legend of the Apocalypse?
Lexis: Of course I do! But Maxim doesn't so please explain.
Iris: Legends tell about four gods, the Sinistrals, who will destroy the world. But there is a hero who is able to stop them. You are that hero. It's my mission to guide you on your journey.
Lexis: Really?! Hooooooray! I'm the Legendary Hero! I have to tell everyone! *grabs Iris and Maxim and races back to the Excerion*

Maxim: Whaaaaaaaaaaat! Lexis is going to be a hero?
Iris:Wait! This is a misunderstanding! Lexis isn't the..-
Lexis: Legendary Hero! Lalala! Legendary Hero! I'm so HAPPY! Wheeeee!
Maxim: Iris, I don't think he hears you...
Iris: *sigh*
Maxim: *looks at the Excerion* Hey wait a minute... If this ship is called the Excerion, then why does it say "Excelion" on the ship?! Damn you Natsume!
Lexis: What!? Actually, I paid Natsume to change the Excerion to Excelion, so it sounds more like "excellent"!
Maxim: Uhh...
Lexis: Excelion! Excellent! you get it?
Maxim: Okay... by the way, Iris wants to tell you something.
Lexis: Really?! Is it about the Legendary Hero? I'm so excited!
Iris: YOU ARE NOT THE LEGENDARY HERO! Maxim is.
Lexis: W-what? Waaaaaaaaaah!
Maxim: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm a hero!
Lexis: A-Anyway, let's get on the Excelion and go back to Elcid.


- TO BE CONTINUED!




-
Last edited by SinReVi on Sun Nov 07, 2010 3:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Lufia - Curse of the Sinistrals
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Postby teefa85 » Mon May 17, 2010 9:45 pm

Was laughing the entire time...hilarious take on the script, and the reason for the changes.
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Postby Guard Daos » Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:01 pm

Ah! I found this topic only now. Brilliant as always. XD

I love the sarcastic undertone at the changes, lol. Moremoremore!
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Postby SinReVi » Sun Nov 07, 2010 3:05 pm

Iris: Sorry, old man! I didn't see you! *saves Lexis* My name is Iris, I'm a priestess of Runa.
Lexis: I'm Lexis Shaia! I'm a geniuuuus! Don't forget that!
Maxim: And my name is Maxim.
Lexis: What are you doing in a place like this anyway? Isn't it way too dangerous for women here?!
Iris: Do you know of the Legend of the Apocalypse?
Lexis: Of course I do! But Maxim doesn't so please explain.
Iris: Legends tell about four gods, the Sinistrals, who will destroy the world. But there is a hero who is able to stop them. You are that hero. It's my mission to guide you on your journey.
Lexis: Really?! Hooooooray! I'm the Legendary Hero! I have to tell everyone! *grabs Iris and Maxim and races back to the Excerion*

Maxim: Whaaaaaaaaaaat! Lexis is going to be a hero?
Iris:Wait! This is a misunderstanding! Lexis isn't the..-
Lexis: Legendary Hero! Lalala! Legendary Hero! I'm so HAPPY! Wheeeee!
Maxim: Iris, I don't think he hears you...
Iris: *sigh*
Maxim: *looks at the Excerion* Hey wait a minute... If this ship is called the Excerion, then why does it say "Excelion" on the ship?! Damn you Natsume!
Lexis: What!? Actually, I paid Natsume to change the Excerion to Excelion, so it sounds more like "excellent"!
Maxim: Uhh...
Lexis: Excelion! Excellent! you get it?
Maxim: Okay... by the way, Iris wants to tell you something.
Lexis: Really?! Is it about the Legendary Hero? I'm so excited!
Iris: YOU ARE NOT THE LEGENDARY HERO! Maxim is.
Lexis: W-what? Waaaaaaaaaah!
Maxim: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm a hero!
Lexis: A-Anyway, let's get on the Excelion and go back to Elcid.
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Lufia - Curse of the Sinistrals

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THE VERY IDIOT STORY OF ESTPOLIS TLCBTG

Postby SinReVi » Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:57 pm

that Ruins of Lore story made me want to continue this story too =P

-----

*Maxim and Lexis arrived in Elcid*

Tia: Ah! You're finally back! *runs to Maxim and hugs him*
Maxim: Whoa Tia!
Tia: I'm so glad you're back in time for our date tonight! You didn't forget about it, did you?
Maxim: Date? What date?
Tia: Yesterday I convinced you to go on a date with me, remember?
Maxim: Huh?! ... Oh yeah now I remember! But we were drunk when I accepted to go on a date with you, so it doesn't count! Haha, you and me on a date, that was a good joke Tia!
Tia: (Damn it!)

Iris: Greetings. My name is Iris. I'm Maxim's new partner.
Tia: Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Partner?
Iris: Indeed.
Tia: WHAAAAAAAT?
Maxim: *strangled by Tia* Uwaugh! It's not like that! We're only leaving on a journey together, that's all!

Tia: Like a romantic get-away? Why?! You just met this woman! YOU'RE MOVING TOO FAST!
Maxim: There's nothing romantic about our trip! We're just gonna kick Gades's butt.
Tia: Oh...
Maxim: Let's see... we have to gather strong warriors... I think we should go to Parcelyte!
Tia: I'm coming with you!
Maxim: Nope!
Tia: Well, at least drop by my house for lunch!
Maxim: Sure! I love food!

Lexis: Okay, I'll just work on the Excelion. see you later Maxim!

Tia: Here, have this delicious fish I prepared just for you!
Maxim: Thanks! *eats* (Ugh-yuck! This is disgusting!Just what IS this?)
Tia: It's delicious isn't it? *smile* (heh heh I made his fish taste bad on purpose. That's what you get for hurting my feelings again!)
Maxim: S-sure! Well, I think I'm going to the professor! *runs away*

Lexis: Maxim! You look terrible!
Maxim: Ugh...That was the worst lunch I ever had! I'm ready to go to Parcelyte. BLEGH! But I'm afraid I'll be sea-sick if I board the Excelion like this.
Lexis: Well, have I got good news for you! We're WALKING to Parcelyte!
Maxim: What?! WHY?!
Lexis: Because of my modifications, the Excelion can now travel over land which resulted in it being too heavy to float in water! Which means we have to walk via the Gordovan Bridge, which is currently withdrawn!
Maxim: OoooooooOOOOOOOOOOh noooooooooooooOOOOOOOOooo!
Lexis: And you have to reconnect the bridge yourself, which involves heavy pedaling!
Maxim: *faints*
Iris: *walks in and sees Maxim lying on the ground* What a lazy legendary hero. (Maybe I should've chosen a different hero)
Lexis: Well, let's go Iris! *drags unconscious Maxim to the Gordovan Drawbridge*


*a few hours later*

Narrator: Tia, refusing to be left alone, decided to follow the love of her life. Unfortunately, she got lost on the bridge and our red haired hero has already arrived in Parcelyte.

Maxim: *enters Parcelyte* Aaaah, we're finally here! I'm so tired! *collapses*
Selan: What! An unconscious man on the street! I won't allow this! *carries Maxim to her room*
Iris: (Oh my goodness. The legendary hero just got kidnapped. What should I tell Daos?)

*a few hours later*
Maxim: *wakes up* Wow! Who are you? You're beautiful!
Selan: What? That's no way to greet someone you just met!
Maxim: Oh, wait I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Maxim, I'm a monster hunter from Elcid.
Selan: A monster hunter? Well, you do look strong. My name is Selan... How about a little duel?
Maxim: I like the sound of that! ... Hey... if I win, will you go on a date with me?
Selan: ...maybe I will.
Maxim: Alright!

*one duel later*

Maxim: It's... it's a draw.
Selan: That's the first time I didn't win.You're strong Maxim. Will you be mine?
Maxim: Huh? Sure! I'd love to! By the way, will you marry me?
Selan:How about next month?
Maxim: Next month sounds wonderful!

*Maxim and Selan go outside*
Tia: *finally arrived in Parcelyte* Maxim! Maxim! I was looking for you! HUH?! Who is that woman?!
Maxim: Oh Tia! Guess what, I have a girlfriend! Can you believe it? And we're getting married soon! You'll be invited to my wedding too, of course!
Tia: WHAAAAAAAAT! You just met that woman! YOU'RE MOVING TOO FAST! What's wrong with you? I WANTED TO MARRY YOU! *strangles Maxim again*
Dekar: *pulls Tia away from Maxim* Hi there lovely stranger! Will you marry me instead of him?
Tia: EEK! Go away! Go away!


Tia: *wakes up* EEK! That was a horrible nightmare! (Why did I want to take a nap again?!)... Maxim and another woman...! I can't let that happen! I...I think I should follow Maxim and keep an eye on him! And who was that pink weirdo in my dream?!*goes to the Gordovan Drawbridge*

Narrator: So, Tia followed Maxim to Parcelyte and this time it wasn't a dream. And several hours later...

Maxim: I...I've finally reconnected the bridge! Hah... we can finally go to Parcelyte!
Tia: AAAAAAAH! I'm being attacked by lizard men!
Maxim: Huh? What's she doing here?
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Lufia - Curse of the Sinistrals

~ OUT NOW! 2010

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Re: The very idiot story of Estpolis TLCBTG

Postby Shade-Duelist » Sat Nov 21, 2015 6:10 am

(Here lies Shade

° 1985 + 2015

she wrote horrible fanfiction
and died laughing about great hilarious fanfiction

thank you, SinReVi)
Strongest Duelist in the world! *cue music*

The second thing I'm best at is writing! Hah, check it out!


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